To True Friends

12 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (John 12)

IMG_0129

True friendship is such an uncommon thing.  

Occasionally we will catch a glimpse of what could have possibility been one, but these often fall short of what a true friendship should be.

These friends are hard to come by, but once you have found one, you will never let go.

So, here’s to you. The true friends.

73115_10200929997000424_583878338_n

To my lifelong friend….

Thank you. Thank you for being there for me when I was three and still to this day.

I cannot imagine growing up alongside anyone else, laughing through our awkwardly-staged photos with anyone else, or reminiscing at all the stupid things we did as kids with anyone else.

I love hearing my mom tell any one of the million childhood stories that you’re in, its a reminder that you are not only my lifelong friend but my sister as well. As we grew up, our families accepted each of us as one of their own.

Through everything, you have stuck by my side with nothing but honest, bottomless love. There is no one else who can say that they have gone to the ends of the earth for me, countless times now, for almost sixteen years.

You have seen the best and the worst sides of me, and have accepted them and loved me anyways. We have endured breakups, depressions, betrayal, pain, and God only knows what else, but we have always (and will always) remained friends. Even when I had given up on myself, you never gave up on me.

I picture the first time we met and I smile, knowing that someday I will also be picturing us growing old together, hitting all of the life stepping stones with you by my side.

IMG_1193 IMG_3832

To my high school best friend….

I can’t imagine going through those miserable four years with anyone else by my side.

In high school, we are constantly changing. We find our first true romances, our first major peer pressures, undergo the stress of applying for colleges, and in the end we always find out who are true friends are. I did not doubt for one second that you would be one of the good ones that sticks around.

You are the friend that never considered flirting with my ex-crushes. No matter how small and short-lived the crush may have been.

You are the friend that wouldn’t care about looking “cool” as long as you were by my side. At football games our freshman year, homecoming pep rallies, graduation, it didn’t matter.. we could always be found within ten feet of each other.

You are the friend that came over whenever I was grounded and couldn’t go out. (Which was often.) Whether I was grounded for grades or for getting caught sneaking out, you would come over to relieve my boredom.

You are the friend that I laugh at how awkward, embarrassing, and amazing our friendship was. You know about the times I most humiliated myself and about those awkward dreams that I’ve never told anyone else. No one else will ever know these, unless they read the millions of notes we passed back and forth in class.

You are the friend that I know the past memories will always be able to outweigh the current ones. Whenever we see each other, it is like we never left. It doesn’t matter the distance or the time spent apart, I cherish your friendship and how faithful you have been to me.

You are the friend that I hope my future children have someday, because high school would have been impossible without you. I wouldn’t be who I am today without you.

IMG_0159 IMG_3058

To my crazy best friend…

My life became drastically more fun when you entered it.

Although we have our serious moments, the times I most grow with you is when we are laughing. Which is always. You are the friend I can call and know I will have a good time with.

Even through the hardest times of my life, you kept it upbeat. Whether it was us taking a car ride, listening to Whitney Houston and screaming our hearts out, or making videos and replaying them in slo-mo, we always had a good time.

You are the only friend that I feel comfortable enough sending a snapchat where I am singing terribly to, the only friend I can say I went to Starbucks with at 5am to study, the only friend who oddly calls me chewbacca and knows what it means. I share so many moments with you that I will never be able to compare with anyone else.

Sure, we had our rough patches, but those are not what I think about. When I reminisce on our friendship, I most remember the laughter, fun, energy, and the closeness we developed through it all.

I want to thank you for making my life a never ending, strangely fun, memorable, adventure with you. I cannot wait to create so many more with you, my crazy best friend.

 IMG_1304IMG_6748

To my college best friend….

Words cannot explain the full appreciation I have for your friendship.

People often jokingly say we are dating because we are always together, act like each other, make comments that would make others uncomfortable, take couple-y pictures, etc. What no one understands is, that is just how close we are. We can sit in silence for hours and not feel uncomfortable in the slightest. Sometimes, I crawl in bed with you to take a nap just because thats how our friendship is (again, we sound like a couple).

Not only am I completely comfortable around you, but I trust you with all of my heart. I know that I can tell you anything and you will never judge me. I trust that you will tell me how it is. You will remind me when I have strayed away from God and encourage me the entire way back.

We have both hit low points during our first semesters of college, but it was made so much easier knowing that God placed you in my life and knowing you were there with me.

Not only are you faithful as a friend, as loving as a sister, encouraging to my faith, and down with me in my struggles, but you are the only person who laughs at all of my jokes, no matter how lame they are. We often speak to each other solely through facial expressions. To anyone else we look insane, to us we are communicating normally.

Like I said earlier, I can’t describe in words my love I have for you. To me, you are my sister in Christ. My going out buddy. My future roommate. You are my best friend. 

I have been extremely blessed to have such an amazing group of four best friends. I treasure each and every one of you and look forward to sharing life with you. You all have changed my life for the better, making me who I am today. I love you. 

Advertisements

What’s Your Self Worth?

It was a typical Friday night. My best friend and I were standing in front of the mirror, applying our makeup, fixing our frizz-balls of hair, and listening to pump-up music. All of a sudden, she cracked some joke saying “Man, we make ourselves look totally different for boys. If only they could see us before all the makeup, I bet they wouldn’t even talk to me!”

Of course, we laughed at this. I mean, why wouldn’t we? Its totally true. We spend hours making ourselves fit the image of what we should look like on the weekends, when in reality that isn’t who we are. (Don’t get me wrong, I find nothing wrong in applying makeup, however; I do find it wrong when we let our image define who we are). We spend so much time, money, and stress on our self image in order to increase our self worth. Without even realizing it, we are making our self image a huge idol in our life, hoping it will increase our self worth. 

When I mention self worth and image, I am not just talking about being “pretty”. We also make decisions in our life, all in hopes to fulfill that hole in our hearts. We think if we do certain things, be a certain person, we will feel complete. 

Our self worth cannot be measured by boys, how pretty we are, how often we go out and drink, or how many friends we have. None of it matters in the end. We cannot continue to allow ourselves to change who we are and purposefully sin in order to feel and look better. We need to trust that God will fill our hearts and our lives with His grace. That should be enough for us.

So, we should stop saying “I will be happy when…” because Jesus’s heart stopped beating so our hearts could beat in His place. His heart stopped beating so we could continue living in our beautiful imperfections. He loved who we are so much, that He died.

I don’t know about you, but that makes me feel really good about myself. I was worth that much. I have a God who loves who I am. God has made my self worth infinitely high.

So whats your self worth? Is it worth doing something you will carry in your shadow for the rest of your life? Is it worth the money you spend to make yourselves look better? Will it be worth it when you stand before God?

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2 

150188_10206186490966924_7674365422486557730_n

Dating in College

I’ll start off this post with a bit of a personal story. Recently, a boy brought to my attention that he was pursuing me with intentions to date soon. I was taken by surprise when he said this, because although we had been on a few dates and stuck to each other’s sides at parties, I had never had the intention to date him. I can’t exactly give a valid excuse for me not wanting to date him, he is a great guy. But in the moment that he told me he wanted to date me, I knew I was going to end it.

Later that night, I was running the list of reasons why I wanted to end it through my head. I realized later on that none of it mattered. The most important reason, and the reason I have to end it, is because I cannot see myself marrying him. God doesn’t want me dating someone for reasons other than marriage, and to be honest neither do I. 

And this brings my whole reason for this post, dating in college. Every time I think about it, I remember the pastor of my church flat out telling me that I will not find my future husband during my first year of college, so not to look. That statement went in and out of my ears at first. I didn’t want to listen, I wanted to go find a cute college boy and date him. But now, I am being forced to re-evaluate what my personal opinion on dating in college is.

It’s funny how God showed me that I need to focus on Him. He showed me by giving me exactly what I had been looking for, all knowing that in the end I would realize it wouldn’t be enough.

If you had asked me a month ago if I wanted to date someone, I would most likely interrupt you mid-sentence with a loud YES, however; if you asked me now, my answer would be the same..yet different. I know I sound like a crazy person right now, but let me explain.

Yes, I do want to date someone. Two people actually.

Firstly, I want to date God. If I gave God half of the attention that I have been giving to boys, I would be twice the Christian that I am right now. I need to be going on dates with God, giving myself one on one time to get to know Him. Unlike college boys, God will not ignore me, He will not blow me off, He will not cheat on me, He will not hurt me. I need to give God my whole heart, to date Him and eventually marry Him. In Hosea, God tells us to do just that.

14 “Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. 15 And there I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth, as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt. 16 “And in that day you will call me ‘Your Husband’ and no longer ‘My Baal.’ Hosea 2:14-16

Secondly, I want to date myself. Why in the world am I spending hours on hours wondering about boys, when I barely know who I am? College has brought out so many new parts of myself that I never knew before, and I have not taken time to explore them. College is supposed to be a time for me to grow up, become the woman I will be for the rest of my life. How can I do that when I am constantly trying to be the woman other people (boys) want me to be?

I will not look for a boyfriend my freshman year. I need to trust that God will bring my husband to me in due time. In the meantime, I am giving God my heart.

And someday, when God does bring me a worthy man of which whom I am supposed to be with for the rest of my life, I can be proud that I spent my first year as an adult focusing on the one who loves me the most and becoming the woman my husband is falling in love with, not chasing after meaningless part-time things.

So, here I go. But I am not worried, because I know I have God on my side holding my hand and guiding me the whole way.

IMG_6587

Not My Usual New Year’s Resolution

The day has come and passed, New Years Day. As much as I love screaming the countdown “5…4…3…2…1!” all while being surrounded by friends, I dread the question of what my New Year’s resolution is.

Yes, of course I have things that I would love to change about myself in the new year. In fact, I probably have more qualities I would wish to change rather than keep, however; I hate verbally saying “In 2015 I am going to ____ more”.

Why? I can count on one hand how many times I have actually gone through with a resolution.

I have a short list of things I can answer this year when people ask me what my 2015 resolutions are: pull my grades up,  stop gossiping about people, and to focus more on God. When I look on my short go-to list I think about how this is probably a majority of people’s resolutions every consecutive year. That is what makes me sad and encourages me not to have new years resolutions.

Why do we allow ourselves to be mediocre at things (like grades) if we know that we can do better in the first place?

I am ashamed to admit that my first semester college GPA is not as high as I had hoped. In fact, that is probably more of an exaggeration, to be blunt… my GPA sucks. I can’t complain too much because after all, it’s no one’s fault but my own. The thing is, I knew early on in the semester that I was doing a poor job of studying. So why did I continue doing it instead of getting my head in the game? What makes saying “Im going to pull my grades up in 2015” any good? I am the same person I am now that I was a few months ago. While I do intend and hope to do better next semester, I will not start my new year off with this resolution because that is something I knew very well I could have fixed last year.

Why do we continue to gossip, if we know that it is wrong?

Here’s the thing about gossiping, the honest truth that no one can deny. When gossiping, we know BEFORE a word comes out of our mouth that we shouldn’t be saying it. Gossip isn’t something that we do and think it’s okay, it isn’t an innocent act that we have to be told is wrong. That is the whole point of gossiping, it isn’t your place to be saying whatever you’re saying. To me, you can say that you’ll stop gossiping in 2015. Woohoo, good for you! But are you going to remember that you said that in March? November? Because if you start off the year saying you’re going to stop doing something, it needs to be either 100% dedication or what is the point of saying you’ll stop? If your whole heart is in it, you are lying to yourself and everyone around you. As much as I wish I could stop gossiping, I am not going to say I will quit because I honestly don’t think I can. Just being honest.

Why do we continue to wait until the end of the year to declare that we want to give God more of our attention? 

God isn’t something that you can put off and then pick back up in 2015. Whether you were holding His hand all year or not, He was reaching for yours. To me, declaring on New Years Day that you are going to be a “better Christian” is like saying “Ive been ignoring God but this moment seems like a great time to acknowledge Him”. Don’t get me wrong, if you are honestly realizing that you have been walking down the wrong path and wish to change your ways, I will pray for you and be at rest knowing He was working in your heart to come back to Him, however; if you are saying that just to come up with a worthy resolution to tell people, you are slapping God in the face.

In a way, I do have a New Year’s Resolution. My New Year’s Resolution is to not have a New Year’s Resolution. There is so much about myself that I should change in 2015, but I refuse to give another list of things I am going to fix about myself. In reality, it most likely will not end up in that handful of resolutions things I have gone through with. Yes, in my head I am saying specific things I am going to change, but instead I am just going to take it day by day. In 2015, I am changing myself day by day.

~2014 was a year to remember, ill give it that!~

10375079_10203485594252340_1911504348815526616_n 10309218_10203094186987403_9024215283541676202_n