Tonight I am especially thankful for friends who make me laugh. They can make me chuckle to the point of tears; in fact, I have almost peed myself on multiple occasions. It’s only now that I realize how beneficial these laughs are to me. I suffer with anxiety. I describe it as something I suffer with because it is a daily problem that I face and have faced since childhood. Anxiety has affected each day of my life and has disrupted my health at times. Normally I have it under control, with the help of a little lexapro and a big dosage of puppy love.
This past week, I have had two anxiety attacks. An anxiety attack for me feels like I can’t breathe. As I come into the attack, my breath begins to speed up and get heavy. I become completely unaware of my surroundings and my heart races impossibly fast. I can’t explain what sends me into an attack, only that it is terrifying.
I have a lot of things to be stressed about this week: exams, a presentation at work, and a trip to Italy. To make things worse, I left Mikey home with my parents and now I miss him terribly. I have been biting my nails to the point of bleeding, skipping meals, and I can’t sleep.
To say the least, my week has sucked. The thought that I will be in Florence, Italy in less than 48 hours helps most of the time. That is, until I begin to get anxious at the thought of getting anxious in Italy. It’s an endless cycle. I have had no desire to do anything outside of my daily routine, because heavy anxiety comes with the whisper of depression.
Tonight, I was able to breathe again. Two of my closest friends came over to make a Christmas video. The video’s purpose is to bring a little joy to those who watch it. The video is goofy and a little stupid, but that’s okay. During the hour we spent recording and joking around, I had not a worry in the world.
I hope that this article reminds others how important their friends are and how impactful we are on each other. Be kind. Be outgoing. Laugh. A lot.
Please enjoy the video that allowed me to breathe for a moment in time.