It was a morning unlike any other.
I was woken up by a phone call. Seeing it was from my mom, I became slightly irritated that she would call so early in the morning.
“Hello?” I managed to grumble out while still adjusting to the morning light.
“She lost her baby,” my mom said quietly.
It took a few seconds for the sentence to process in my mind, so she repeated it.
“She lost her baby.”
How does this happen, I thought to myself. I laid in my bed feeling sick to my stomach, still unable to fully process the seriousness of what had taken place. I couldn’t understand why bad things happen to good people. Why my cousin, whom I have always looked up to for being so strong, deserved to lose her baby. Why did she, who already had been dealt so many hard hands in life, have to be the one who God would choose for this to happen to? Didn’t she deserve some happiness? Couldn’t God have shown Himself some other way? Why did He choose this for her?
As the next few days drudged by, I continued to be amazed by her strength. I stood by watching, still in a daze. The memory of holding her thirty-four week old stillborn baby a few days ago still burned in my heart. I couldn’t help but to be angry with God. If I was in this much pain, I couldn’t imagine what she was going through. She must hate God.
Finally, the day of the funeral arrived. I grimaced as they pulled the tiny, white casket out of the vehicle. My eyes teared up and I felt sorrow for anyone who has gone through this.
Concluding the service, I placed my hands on the casket and closed my eyes. I prayed for my cousin and her family. I prayed for the innocent baby and that he would be happy in Heaven. I prayed that there was a reason for all of this.
As for my cousin, she assured me that there was a reason and God had a plan. While I was sitting here wondering why God would let something so sad happen to such a good person, my cousin, who was suffering far worse than I, was leaning confidently on God.
In times of trouble, it is hard to remember that God has never promised us an easy life, but instead a perfect eternity.
We will never know why God chose to take away an innocent baby before he had taken his first breath or why He allows us to feel such pain, but we must continue to grow in the fact that He loves us and will continue to.
Until then, I will continue to pray for my cousin and her family. I will continue to remember what it felt like to hold that precious baby and how my heart hurt so badly in that moment. I will continue to pray that God shows His plan for her. Most of all, I will pray to God and thank Him for His Love.
John 16: 33 “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”